Promises

Who among us caregivers hasn’t made the well-meaning promise, “I will never put you in a nursing home” or, “I will always take care of you.” As the primary or secondary caregiver, we meant what we said at the time. We felt that there was nothing that would stop us from caring for our loved one until the end. As diseases progress we may be finding that their needs are more than we can handle, yet we still hear the echo of the promise and try to abide by it. We try what ever we can to keep them at home until a crisis with them or our own health is in such a decline that the promise must be broken. No two people have the same breaking point. For some it may be, “I will do it when they no longer know me”, for others it is when they become incontinent. These are just two reasons that drive the admission for a loved one. Whatever the reason we will still second-guess ourselves and feel guilty for having to break our promise. This is where our emotions take over and blur our judgment. Because we felt, we would always keep our promise we didn’t bother to do any prior research on facilities or daycares. As difficult as it may be we must begin to lay the groundwork so that we are prepared if that day comes.